Have you ever wondered how to use sadist vs. masochist? A sadist is a person who takes pleasure in harming others. On the other hand, someone who gets pleasure from being harmed is a masochist. Still confused with the aspects of sadism and masochism? Read on for a fuller understanding of the meaning, origins, and usages of these words.
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What Is a Sadist?
Sadists derive pleasure from inflicting humiliation or infliction of pain on other people. The term originated from the Marquis de Sade (1740-1814). This infamous French writer authored books with graphic descriptions of sexual acts, rape, torture, murder, and sexual abuse. De Sade spent time in prison for blasphemy, pornography, and sex crimes.
The pleasure derived from sadism can be emotional, physical, or both. Often, it’s in the context of sexual behavior or sexual gratification. In some extreme cases, a person (typically with a dominant role) can suffer from sexual sadism disorder, which involves having an intense urge to harm (physically or emotionally) another person for erotic purposes or sexual arousal.
Keep in mind that sadism is not only limited to sexual activities. Anyone who enjoys the feeling of power or dominance can be a sadist. For example, a person who likes being cruel to others by mocking and taunting them might have sadistic behavior.
Examples:
- A serial killer who tortures his victims is both a psychopath and a sadist.
- Sometimes, I think my boss is a sadist; he seems to take joy in being cruel to employees.
- Is animal cruelty a reliable sign that someone is a sadist?
- She’s a sadist whose bedroom preferences include role-playing where she physically harms her partners.
- Being a sadist made it a lot easier for him to break prisoners during interrogations.
What Is a Masochist?
There are two ways to think of the opposite of a sadist. One is somebody who feels anguish for harming other people. The other is someone who receives pleasure and satisfaction from being harmed or humiliated by another person or their own self. As with sadism, this pleasure can be physical, emotional, or both. It can also be sexual fantasies or sexual urges.
Like sadism, there is also a sexual masochism disorder. There are multiple diagnostic criteria to determine if you have this disorder. If you meet them, therapy and counseling with a sex therapist or psychiatrist are often advised by a psychologist, especially in cases where sexual masochistic interests have caused extreme helplessness, significant distress, and impairment.
The terms masochist and masochism come from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836-1895). He was a German novelist whose work Venus in Furs depicts a sadomasochistic relationship (more on that term to come). A contemporary psychiatrist created the term masochism from Sacher-Masoch’s name. Interestingly, Sacher-Masoch disliked his name being used that way.
Examples:
- You must be a masochist for running all those miles in that heat!
- The dominatrix would only seek masochists for sexual partners.
- Did you know he’s a masochist who enjoys being tied up and beaten?
- Sometimes, I wonder if I’m secretly a masochist since I can’t say no to doing unpleasant tasks.
- Stop doing that to yourself; are you a masochist or something?
Which One to Use?
Now that you know what sadists and masochists are, mastering sadist vs. masochist should be pretty simple. They’re effectively opposites of one another, so it’s hard to misuse them as long as you keep their meanings straight. Just remember that the sadist inflicts pain while the masochist receives pain.
Also, remember that both enjoy the inflicted or received pain or humiliation. For example, someone forced to harm another against their will is not a sadist. Likewise, someone being harmed and not liking it is not a masochist. If you strike someone and that person flees in terror, you’re not dealing with a masochist.
How About Sadomasochism?
Sadomasochism or S&M is a category of behavior that involves people who enjoy inflicting and receiving harm upon/from other people. It’s often associated with the enhancement of sexual pleasure, and most of the time, the participants express consent. Sometimes, they switch roles, but that isn’t typical. A masochist often initiates sadomasochistic activities. Keep in mind that having sadomasochistic desires is not limited to extreme pleasures.
A closely related term is BDSM. This indicates bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. It’s almost always sexual and involves erotic activities. Quite often, people engaging in BDSM cannot experience sexual pleasure without it.
Fun Fact: Richard von Krafft-Ebing coined the terms sadism and masochism in his book Psychopathia Sexualis.
Final Thoughts
As a recap, a sadist enjoys causing physical or emotional harm or humiliation to others, while a masochist enjoys receiving it. Understanding that key difference makes correctly using sadist vs. masochist simple. It’s also important to remember that a sadist’s target may not be one willingly. On the other hand, a masochist usually wants to experience harm.
