Have you ever wondered what’s really going on when you compare yourself to other people? Do other people’s possessions or behaviors make you feel a certain way? Even though it’s quite common, people often use jealousy and envy interchangeably—as if one could substitute for the other—but the two emotions actually have distinct meanings.
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What Is Jealousy?
You experience jealousy when you fear losing someone (or something) to someone else.
How would you feel if you and your best friend got together every day, and then a new classmate wanted to hang out with your best buddy but not with you? Ding, ding, ding. That’s you being jealous right now.
The word comes from an old Greek term, zelos, which mutated into zealous and jealous, which meant basically the same thing until the 15th century— jealous got the negative connotation and zealous the positive one.
You can only use the word ‘jealousy’ as a noun.
What Is Envy?
Envy is what happens when you get upset because you want something that someone else has, but you don’t.
For instance, when you wish you had your classmate’s good fortune, house, popularity, achievements, privileges, or anything else. That’s envy.
Discontent with your actual situation usually leads you to be resentful of people who have what you don’t, and that will make you envious (and a bit mad).
One of the seven deadly sins, the word ‘envy,’ comes from the Latin invidia, which means “to look back at” and was used in Ancient Rome to describe wanting what you don’t have.
It can be used as a noun and also as a verb.
How Is Envy Different From Jealousy?
Three main factors differentiate envy from jealousy and vice versa: focus, people involved, and active emotions.
- In essence, envy is the desire for something that someone else has, while jealousy is the fear of losing something. You already need something in order to feel jealous.
- When two people are involved, it’s usually envy; when there are three people involved, it’s jealousy, as you feel threatened.
- Resentment and longing are emotions associated with envy, while fear and insecurity are closer to jealousy.
Also, jealousy is always used as a noun, while envy works both as a noun and a verb.
Tip: Envy and its adjective envious typically lack the sense of possessiveness or suspicion of infidelity that jealousy and its adjective form (jealous) represent. These words are also used more specifically in the context of romantic relationships.
So, is it possible to be jealous but not envious, and the other way around?
Sure! For example, you can feel envious of your friend’s new car (hello, irrational desire?) without worrying about losing something that you already have.
But is it possible for envy to become jealousy? It can, indeed. If you are envious of someone else’s close relationship with someone you also value, it could turn into jealousy if you begin to worry about losing your own relationship with that person.
Which One Should You Use?
You should use envy when talking about something you want, but somebody else has. Remember, it doesn’t involve losing something you already have.
If you are going to use envy’s adjective form (envious), it is typically followed by “of,” like “I’m envious of his new bicycle.” But you can also use “at” for whatever triggers the envy, for example, “I stared enviously at his new bike.”
For jealousy, use it when there is a threat or insecurity of losing something you have. This word mostly applies to personal relationships.
Keep in mind that the adjective ‘jealous’ usually only precedes “of” when referring to the object of the emotion.
Final Thoughts
The words envy and jealousy are not the same; there is an important distinction between the two.
Remember, you get envious when you want something that someone else has, like your friend’s new, expensive device. On the other hand, jealousy comes when you worry about losing something you already have, like a romantic relationship or a friendship.
