Read ‘Em and Weep: 150+ Funniest Book Puns You’ll Ever Read

Book puns are a delightful way to express your love of reading, writing, and groaning at cheesy one-liners. If you’re ready to treat yo’shelf to some fun literary humor, here are just a few book jokes and puns that will really tickle your spine!

Funny Book Puns

Book puns can range from the popular to the obscure depending on how familiar you are with the source material. Even if you can’t name the reference, however, you can probably sigh at the wordplay!

• Did you hear that John Green got lost in Canada? Yeah, he was Looking for Alaska.

• What did Mr. Darcy say to Elizabeth? “I had a will of iron until you Bennet it.”
• What do you call 2,000 mockingbirds? Two kilo mockingbird.
• I started walking around without any shoes, and it sort of became a Hobbit.

• Why did the kid always sit in his wardrobe when reading a book? Narnia business!
• Charlotte Brontë is such a breath of fresh Eyre.
• What’s the best book to read while eating breakfast? Much Ado About Muffin.

• Have you heard about Waldo? He went abroad and found himself.
• What’s a comedian’s favorite book? The Pun Also Rises.
• I saw a vampire in a snowstorm. It was very Wuthering Bites.
• Dystopian novels are so 1984.

Library Puns

Do you comma here often? Whether you’re a librarian yourself or just a bookworm or bibliophile who’s always felt welcome between the shelves, here are some hilarious library puns for you.

• To thine own shelf be true.

• What did the librarian say to someone who checked out over 100 books? “Don’t overdue it!”
• Why did the librarian fall down? She was in the non-friction section.
• If you’re feeling numb, head to the library. Libraries are good for circulation.
• I haven’t been to the library in a while. How Dewey find the books?

• What dinosaur knows a lot of synonyms? A thesaurus.
• Hey, girl, can I check you out? You have fine written all over you.
• What vegetables do librarians like? Quiet peas.

• Why was the library so tall? Because it had a lot of stories.
• Why didn’t the burglar break into the library? He was afraid he’d get a long sentence.
• What’s a librarian’s favorite fruit? Li-berries!
• The junior librarian was reincarnated as a bookmark because he always knew his place.

• Why did the librarian retire? To start a new chapter in their life.
• Librarians work behind prosed doors.
• How do librarians flirt? By asking for your call number.
• You may take your beverages into the library, but please don’t pour milk on the serials.
• I asked the librarian if she knew any authors who wrote novels about dinosaurs. She said try Sarah Topps.
• Why is the detective here? He wants a mystery! 

Author Puns

Good literary puns will make you stop, go back, and re-read the pun again to fully understand the joke. Great literary puns will make you do that and bang your head against your desk when you finally get it!

• Anyone who doesn’t like The Lord of the Rings doesn’t know what they’re Tolkien about.
• Don’t invite John Milton to your game night. Whenever he’s around, there’s a pair of dice lost.
• Never read Jane Austen? All you need is a little Persuasion!

• Why did Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because pencils made him ask, “2B or not 2B?”
• Judy Blume where you’re planted.
• So you were outside, and then you saw a raven? Cool story, Poe.

• What makes “Civil Disobedience” such a great essay? Thoreau editing.
• What was Socrates’ favorite thing to mold? Play dough.
• I used to care, but Orwell, it doesn’t really matter.
• You can make gold with alchemy. Just follow the Coelho brick road.
• How does Voltaire like his apples? Candied.
• Never read Fitzgerald? You Gatsby kidding me!
• Ernest Hemingway or the highway.
• My favorite author is S.O. Teric. You’ve probably never heard of him.
• Strangers on a Twain.

Writing Puns

Maybe you’re an author. Maybe you just despair of the people who still confuse “your” and “you’re.” Either way, you should be able to relate to these hilariously pedantic writing puns!

• Bad spelling makes me [sic].
• Past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• Why are writers always cold? Because they’re surrounded by drafts.
• You can write poetry if you want, but I think it’s best left to the prose.
• Metaphors be with you.
• Why do words and punctuation end up in court? To be sentenced.
• I started to write a book on cats, but writing on paper was so much easier.

• I don’t date apostrophes anymore. The last one was so possessive.
• Why did the pregnant woman shout “couldn’t, wouldn’t, and shouldn’t”? She was having contractions.
• I’ve heard that you’re having trouble with your time travel story. Maybe you should think outside of the clocks.

• Witches make the best editors because they always run a spell check.
• Practice safe text: use commas.
• You need the write stuff to be an author. It’s not for everyone.
• Double negatives are a no-no.
• Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

• Did you hear about the author in jail? They put him in the writer’s block. Couldn’t get past his first sentence.
• My thesaurus was stolen. I’m at a complete loss for words.

Reading Puns

If you’re a book lover looking at corny puns about reading, you can only blame yourshelf. Here are a few of the best to make you laugh and cry at the same time.

• Why did the dog run after the book? He was chasing his tale.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, and I just can’t put it down.
• It’s so easy to get lost in a book about mazes.
• That book about Mt. Everest had quite the cliffhanger.
• I don’t loan out my books. Some say I’m shelf-ish.
• My high school music teacher was really controversial. He always had his students read band books.

• Why are ghosts always reading? They go through books too quickly.
• That book about hands was a real page-turner.
• Why are books so afraid of their sequels? Because they always come after them.
• I really wanted to read that book about sinkholes, but my plans fell through.
• What’s the best thing to read in the woods? Poe-tree.

• I wanted to read that book about electricity, but it’s quite shocking.
• Why does an elephant use its trunk as a bookmark? So it nose where it stopped reading!
• Have you read the book on teleportation? It’ll definitely take you places.
• My dog started eating my book, so I took the words right out of his mouth.
• Why did the Romanian stop reading for the night? To give his Bucharest.

100+ More Book Puns

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
3. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
5. I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to get me somewhere.
6. I have a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
9. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s uplifting.
10. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.
11. I’m reading a book about helium. It’s not putting me down.
12. Have you read the book about teleportation? It’s bound to get you somewhere.
13. I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined.
14. Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
15. I’m reading a book on the history of batteries. It’s electrifying.
16. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
17. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because he wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
18. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
19. The book on drilling technology was boring.
20. I’m reading a book on the history of rubber bands. It’s a stretch.
21. I was reading a book on helium. It was so good I couldn’t put it down.
22. Have you read the book about phobias? It’s not for the faint-hearted.
23. I’m reading a book about mazes. I got lost in it.
24. The book about Teflon was non-stick.
25. The book about singularity had a singular point of view.
26. Reading a book on gravity, it’s attracting a lot of attention.
27. The book on the history of crayons was colorful.
28. Have you read the book on Stockholm Syndrome? It starts off badly but by the end, you’ll like it.
29. Reading a book on glue. Can’t seem to put it down.
30. I was reading a book about insomniacs. It was a real sleeper.
31. The book about procrastination is still on my to-read list.
32. Have you read the book about claustrophobia? It’s not very spacious.
33. The book about introverts is one you might not have heard about.
34. Reading a book about the history of watches. It’s about time.
35. The book on earthquakes was ground-breaking.
36. Have you read the book about amnesia? I forgot how it ends.
37. The book about failed businesses went bankrupt.
38. I’m reading a book about silent letters. It’s unspeakable.
39. The book on the history of balloons was uplifting.
40. Have you read the book on levitation? It’s quite uplifting.
41. Reading a book on the history of adhesive. I can’t seem to let go.
42. The book on déjà vu was strangely familiar.
43. The book about infinity went on forever.
44. I’m reading a book about unassertive ghosts. It’s very transparent.
45. The book on the history of origami was folded well.
46. Have you read the book about claustrophobia? You wouldn’t want to get too into it.
47. Reading a book about phobias, it’s terrifying.
48. The book on the history of flammable materials was quite lit.
49. I’m reading a book about wool. It’s quite shearful.
50. The book about minimalism didn’t have much to it.
51. Reading a book about laziness, it’s not very motivating.
52. The book on time travel was ahead of its time.
53. Have you read the book on quicksand? It’s a sinking feeling.
54. The book about drought was very dry.
55. I’m reading a book on the history of stairs. It’s an up and down story.
56. The book on veganism was meatless.
57. Reading a book about the history of electricity. It’s shocking.
58. The book on windows was quite enlightening.
59. Have you read the book about narcissism? It’s all about me.
60. The book about sunburns was a scorching read.
61. I just finished a book on the history of erasers. It was quite moving; it touched on a lot of important points.
62. Have you read the book about teleportation? It will really take you places.
63. I’m reading a novel about a pencil. It’s pointless, but write on.
64. The book on watches is about time.
65. Why was the book about telepathy so engaging? Because it really gets inside your head.
66. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
67. The book about quicksand was a gripping read.
68. Why did the computer go to therapy? To address its processing issues.
69. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s uplifting.
70. The book about elevators was a real lift.
71. The book about electric cars was shocking.
72. I’m reading a book about the history of jet engines. It’s taking off.
73. The book about submarines went below the surface.
74. The book on wind turbines was quite a breeze.
75. I’m reading a book about the history of balloons. It’s quite uplifting.
76. The book about the sun was enlightening.
77. I’m reading a book on the history of gardens. It’s growing on me.
78. The book about the ocean was deep.
79. I had to quit my job at the library because it had no chapters left for me.
80. I was going to tell my book puns to a librarian
81. I tried to grab a book at the library but I mist it.
82. I was going to check out a book from the library
83. I heard the story of the unhappy book ended on a cliffhanger.
84. The keyboard was autobiographical and wrote a book about its shift key.
85. The detectives tried to solve the mystery novel but they were always one page behind.
86. The book on how to build furniture joined forces with the book on relationships. Together they became a shelf-help book.
87. I asked the librarian if the book I wanted was out
88. I entered my book in a pun contest
89. I was writing a book on clocks
90. I tried to write a book in the Arctic
91. The frustrated book tried to start a new chapter but was bound by its old cover.
92. I checked out a book from the crime section but found it had an unexpected twist ending.
93. I tried to write a book on reverse psychology but I just couldn’t finish the last chapter.
94. I brought my book to the doctor because all of the chapters were out of order.
95. I tried to write a book in the past tense but found there was no future in it.
96. The book was useless without its cover so it got jacket.
97. I wrote a book on clocks but it was just a first draft about time.
98. I checked my book out of the library but its still due back next week.
99. I was going to tell my friend a joke about the library, but they were already reading between the lines.
100. The shy book just wanted to curl up and read by itself.
101. I thought writing a book on beauty would be pretty easy but it turns out it was more work than I’d imagined.
102. The book by the controversial author started an intense debate before anyone had even read a page.
103. I entered my book puns in a contest but none made the final draft.

What Are Your Favorite Book Jokes and Puns

Book puns come in every shade of the Reading Rainbow, but you don’t have to be LeVar Burton to appreciate them. As long as you have heart, humor, and a high tolerance for cheesiness, they’ll always hit the plot!